Dear All,
First, I'd like to apologize. I havent been blogging because the internet takes ages to set up.
Oh well, I've not forgotten that I am in Australia.
A summary of my trip back home.
It was terrible. I just felt my parents' lives could have been better. I could have contributed or done a lot more for them. In fact, there was so much emphasis on things at home, that I often got tired as well. I do what I can and I always do my very best. But apparently, my dad seems a little disappointed in me. It's tiring to live up to people's expectations, even at this age. I wished I had spent more time with Amelia. I've got plenty of time, but she's so busy with her work, that I didnt even get to go shopping with her, not even once.
I feel.. I have given my mum quite a lot of emotional support this time round, though I would prefer to be there for my dad. It's harder for him than mum?
I had a fathers' day dinner with my grandfather. After that, he fell sick. His condition was on/off all the time. Unfortunately, he passed away on the day I went back to Perth. I felt really bad for not going home to attend the funeral. I believe I should at least pay respects or go through all the ceremony, even though we are not close. My grandfather doesnt even know who I am. But this particular dinner, he asked my mum who I am. They were happy to tell him I am Bobo. I have no idea why older generation seems to remember Bobo. I guess that gave him a little impression of me, or least, he knew I existed. Then he asked what I am doing. That broke my heart when he passed away. My other grandfather asked the same question before he left. I told my grandfather I am studying and I would graduate next year (2008). He didnt live to watch me graduate. But he's such a strong motivation to my studies. He passed away during my test week. I still miss him lots. I am a lot closer to my mum's side than dad's. Anyway, we gotta move on. I called back a couple of times.. My heart sank, all the way to the bottom each time I hear my dad's voice. I was very much crying in me. I cannot stand seeing, hearing, feeling how my loved ones are feeling. Worse of all, I am not even there for my dad, which I would really really want to. Let's hope things get better at home.
I really enjoyed watching tv with Amelia and Marvin. It just a feeling of belonging back home?
I didnt get to see a lot of people whom I want to. Everyone's busy. Next time maybe?
