Wednesday, 27 May 2009

Exams, Exams & Exams..

Examinations.

I am blogging just because I want to whine about it. haha. Exams are so tiring, especially when my papers are so close together. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday. I just want to get done with it. I've been having packed food since last Saturday, 5 days of take aways, 5 days of sleeping late, 5 days of insufficient sleep, 5 day of brain power, I am tired. I feel drained and it's only normal to. It should get a little better after tomorrow's paper because I will have a few days to study for next week's paper.

I was quite happy after my Marketing Comm paper today. Different people have different talents and I am just bad with figures. Look at my past transcripts, I screw up every module that has got to deal with figures, statistics, accounting, finance. I just cant handle it. Prof Mizerski was so 'nice'. When I received the question paper, I was like.. NICE.. 8 pages of statistics! I guess at post graduate level, we are expected to analyze all these data. Then from the data, we make decisions, like how we choose our target audiences, how much are they consuming, the right medium to reach them, etc etc. There's just tons of statistics! So even if I am not going to do well for this paper, I am proud of myself with my attempt to digest everything and just do my best.

Great Job Bell! :)

Client Management. God bless me, tomorrow.

Ethics for next week. Dead. I am so dying. The revision lecture was 'useful', Professors mentioned that we are not allowed to copy the question, no marks given. You are not allowed to use pencil. You have to write legibly, if not, no marks given. He's not marking. Mentioning the theories doesnt mean you get it right. It's one of the irritating professors that wants you to have a very good understanding of the whole module, like all 12 lectures, integrate them as a whole to answer all the questions. It's one of those you can't smoke through with common sense. It doesnt work this way. After the lecture, everyone looked at each other like.. @_@ to @_@. In the first place, nobody have a good understanding of the module. On the feedback form, I wrote the following:
  • 1st. If their objective was to get us to review our ethical behaviour and issues, it's probably too late. I feel that my upbringing plays a part. My values are not shaped by the textbook. So it's stupid.
  • 2nd. Most post graduate students have working experiences. The ethical issues they faced at work would be more valuable than the lesson.
  • 3rd. This lead us to thinking this module is completely irrelevant because it is not practical. Whatever learnt cannot be applied?
  • 4th. This module emphasized too much on personal values, heuristics. Hello? Hello? If the module emphasized more on 'business' issues, I think it would be more useful.
  • 5th. The workshops sucks, big time! I feel like I am attending a Kindergarten lesson, from the way it is conducted.
  • 6th. At the end of the last lecture, I have absolutely no idea what is going on. I've never really skip, except a few workshops. Most people have no idea what the Professor was teaching.
  • 7th. They should work on the materials used. Most people dont understand the textbook and I am not exception. The slides should be simplified. There should be less information. What's the point of having so much slides, when you cant teach everything?

Thus, I conclude, this module is a complete waste of money and time! I hope I pass. PLEASE. The professors are failing people. The reason being.. students have poor understanding of the subject. And I think the problem lies with the structure of the whole module and the professors! I am so enjoying my Marketing modules for this semester.

We whine how heavy client management is, we felt that we could have scored better for Marketing Comms, but at the end of the day, I know that most people enjoyed the lessons. Ethics is just..

For once, I am feeling like Jasmine. This post sounds so much like Jasmine. There's so much similarity to her blog. haha.

11 days to going home..

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

A Different Approach to My Life..

This post might be slightly different, so be prepared. :)

I remember all my past conversations with Irving. We'd always agree I still have a long way to go.. I knew that I needed to be more 'balanced' in my life, to be more 'stable' in handling all issues.

I feel that I am getting closer to this stage, where I am more mature and capable of the challenges in my life.

I am not sure if it was because of the pace in Perth, my experience here or it just comes naturally as you get older.

I stopped panicking over the small issues, like examinations or shifting house. In life, there's always a solution to our problems. It just depends on which approach you choose to take.

I had my first paper yesterday. 25 chapters of Global Marketing, but I only did 5 chapters and went into the exam hall. Tomorrow I have another paper and I have no idea how to calculate CPM. I dont even know what is CPM, but I am not panicking or overly stressed over it. I just came back from supper. Ken was like, YOU HAVE EXAMS TOMORROW AND YOU CAME OUT FOR SUPPER?! Yeah, I mean, I feel everything is so packed, I could hardly breathe. So what's wrong with going out for a meal?

I am always VERY HARD ON MYSELF. When things happen, I get upset. My whole family is like that. My mum constantly blames herself for whatever's happened to her children. Amelia works like there's no tomorrow and she never has enough sleep.

Now, I just want to be realistic. I would like to aim high, but I think we cannot aim high in all aspects. We gain some, we lose some. I like to have a balance of things in my life. I need to be aware of what I want to achieve, utimately, throughout my stay in Perth. Being realistic means I might not have distinctions this semester. I believe in studying every single thing, mutiple textbooks, all lecture materials, etc. In short, I was a hard working student. I spent the whole semester playing catch-up, till a point in time, I just gave up because it was almost impossible to. Post graduate is just heavy, or maybe it's just my marketing modules. So this time round, I took a completely different approach. I can even be packing my baggage, preparing to move into my new house when I should be studying very hard for the papers.

I find that a lot of approaches I used in the past did not work? I guess so? And it's good to have a goal and aim high, but sometimes you just cant achieve that much when you want the best of everything?

Han was telling me how he became more confident as he got older and stuffs. I can picture Bell at the end of my stay in Perth. I have friends, I have people who care. But when you are overseas, you are on your own. Let's face it. Every experience, every emotions, every single thought of mine is unique and it aids in my growing up and learning process. I hope all these will shape Bell into what everyone wants to see. I did not forget my purpose of coming here. And I will not disappoint those back home.

12 days to going home..

Monday, 25 May 2009

A Letter..

I am supposed to be studying for my paper on Wednesday, but.. I received some news from a friend. He might be going back next week.. So I took time to write him this.. I know my priorities, but I also think, this friend is worth one hour of my time to write this letter.

Letters are very personal, but I wanted to share what I've written. I was impressed with how well I've written, how I expressed my feelings and thoughts in Chinese. Another reason why this letter is so well written because every single word came from my heart..

I wanted to dedicate a single post to this friend, but I was not able to find time. So let me just show you this..


Andrew, 我很庆幸在Perth能遇见你。
你待人处事的方法,我很欣赏。
在Perth, 能和我有相同想法的人不多。
你的想法跟我比较接近。
往往,我都能理解你所要表达的。

和你一起度过的日子特别愉快。
你很豪爽,对朋友也很好,很诚恳,是很少见的。
你比较细心,比较会看人的表情。
你逗我们笑也是顾重大局。

我觉得你心胸广大是因为那时候我跟你说,我今年犯太岁,你毫不犹豫地就拿出一道符给我。
那显示你这个人不自私,有东西你会分享, 也很关心人。
那个时候,我有点惊讶,可是确定了你这个人的本性.

我在这里也没有遇上志同道合,或比较合得来的朋友,所以你的出现,令我感到很安慰。
很可惜的,你快回国了。我觉得有点遗憾,也许说再见是为了下次的相遇?


我真心的祝福你,希望你一切顺利,事业蒸蒸日上,往来的日子也很愉快。


有空还是能来探望我,来Perth再找我们玩,或去新加坡,我一定会带你去玩。
要好好照顾自己.

If I were to receive this, I think I'd cry. The words I used were quite 'strong' to have an impact and I made the effort to list out all the good qualities of this person. Sweettt!

I wanted to do a bit more, like hand made a little gift? It depends on how much time I have left and depends on when he goes back.

But I am so glad to have met Andrew.

Cheers! :)

Saturday, 23 May 2009

Mandarin Ducks

I am not sure how many of you actually know what happened to my mandarin ducks, the fate of the pair. But I am sure most of you know I own a pair of mandarin ducks.

It was love at first sight, I couldnt stop thinking about it, that I went back to the store and bought it home.

It's probably unusual to buy it for yourself. It is usually given as a gift. I bought it because I believe I am the master of my own fate and I bought it to give myself some hope.

Both ducks fell off, at different times.. With my stubborn personality, I would fix it back and I did. But on one of the ducks, there was a crack. It's still in tact, but there's just a crack, you can see the line. That's not me. That represents Zhiwen. When the first duck fell off, maybe it was because Zhiwen had a girlfriend, but when the second duck fell off, I knew it was because of the way the staff handled my baggage.. so the ducks probably suffered some injuries before it reaches Perth.

I still display it, for many reasons..

About 15 minutes ago, I kept it in the red traditional box which comes with it.

I dont know why, I pass by them every single day, but something struck me, at that instant, that I decided to stop displaying it.

I was talking to Raymond online, he knew about my ducks. I told him I have such BAD LUCK IN RELATIONSHIPS. I do. He's not the only one to agree, so many people have to agree with me. I waited 6 years for Qingrong, then I met Weiqi and spent another year or so.. And another year plus for Joseph, before I was stuck with Zhiwen for 2 years. I still call him dumb because all along I've been protecting him. I dont think anyone actually remembers his name. This way, nobody can tarnish his reputation whatsoever. Now, I am just happy we're friends.

I know its a little depressing having to mention this myself. But hey, let's face it. Bell has BAD LUCK IN RELATIONSHIPS.

I am not saying this because of a particular incident that happened lately. But I've lost hope in this aspect of my life. I've waited 10 years for the one, the one, my one? I am blessed, I have many good friends whom I can rely on though..

OK, back to reality..

I am alright, I merely wanted to express how I feel..

And I'd get back to my life without the one.

For your information, UWA has a lot of mandarin ducks. They swim in pairs.. Similar to the peacocks, they are permanent residents of UWA :)

Good Night.

Friday, 22 May 2009

Fate brought us together?

Oh My God! omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg OMFG~!

Sorry, but I am so excited! I want to share something really fun! it's so exciting and interesting! hehe.

Last year, I started receiving emails from a group of UWA girls. Because the emails are school emails, I know it's not spam or junk mail. One of the girls added me by accident, because of the similarity in the emails. So I am "Kate Minesora", least on their list and the thread, I am Kate? hehe.

I wrote back last year to tell them that they have been emailing the wrong person, because I am not Kate. So the girls said they'd remove my email and stuffs.

Recently, I started to receive emails from this group of girls again. ISN'T IT AMAZING?! How I was involved, reading their emails about their life and their gatherings? I even have their phone number since they arrange to meet up for dinners and stuffs?

TODAY, I WROTE BACK because it's simply amazing how everything happened and now I became a student of UWA myself and I am residing in Perth! so fun!

This is so fun and interesting!! isnt it? hehehehehehe.... :P What happens if I drop by someday? hahahhahhaha.. hehehe

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

Going Home..

It's such a weird feeling that I have... to going home..

I should be looking forward, but something is holding me back, which I cant explain exactly?

The best explanation I can find for myself is..

I am someone who adapts very quickly to a new environment, I have no problems getting around and making friends. Maybe I have sort of, found my 'identity' in Perth. So now that I am going home to 'fit' into my 'old identity' in Singapore, it just feels weird. Then again, I will have no problems since I adapt quickly? It's like a transition period?

Another possible reason could be because I havent been home for a long time, so I get this strange feeling. When I was in Tokyo, it's more of having fun than studies, seriously. So now that I am really LIVING in Perth, it's just different.

I am looking forward because I miss so many people.

My Dad. The one who gives me enormous support and strength in my life, who is also the one who protects me and dotes on me, all at the same time. My dad would be heart broken, but at the same time very proud of me, to see me grow. My dad was such a strong motivating factor in my life.

I miss Mummy's cooking! I miss her nagging sometimes, just having her around, even though she can be quite annoying. Trust me, they meant well. My mum fought so much in her life to protect all of us. She gave her everything, her all, her time and effort, her love to all of us. Nobody would be as concern about me as my mum.

I actually miss my sisters and brother's terrible behaviour! Making lots of noises, watching a lot of tv, talking on the phone loudly, stepping into the house with shoes on, etc..

I miss Yuan, I really do. If I ever had a best friend, he would be? It's so comfortable to hang out with him, it's like I am always in this comfort zone, whenever he's around. I miss his silly behaviours and stupid reactions, sometimes. haha.

I miss my university friends, Xiaoqi, Jessica, Shiling, Adrielle & Shaowei.
I miss my BIAB team members! I just cant wait to throw darren away! haha.
I miss my primary school friends, which I am trying to organize a gathering or something, though Andy and Benjamin won't be around.. but least I'd get to see Ping Ling :)

The list goes on..

And of course I miss you! Jasmine :)

You were always there for me.. Each time I receive a mail from you, it reminds me of the times you'd write me letters after we went to different schools. She'd write stuffs like 'Do you have a boyfriend?'.. wow.. 10 years back! Now, she writes me little words of encouragement. Thank you darling :)

19 days to going home..

Updates..

Just want to mention a few..

  1. I've been accepted into Masters of Marketing! I also applied for advanced standing, which I am waiting for the business school to approve.. It'd take a while.. you know, 'A WHILE', it's Aussie style..
  2. I am moving into the CITY! It's a lovely apartment! :) That probably means more partying and more shopping. heh.
  3. I just confirmed my flight today, I am going home! 08 June!

It's quite funny how I whine and complain about stuffs in Aussie, but I wouldnt mind staying a little longer in Perth. I am not in love with this place, but I am beginning to enjoy the pace. Instead of rushing home, I'd like to spend a few days in Perth, just doing nothing. Like take time off to clear my thoughts, do a little reflection and present to all of you, a slightly different Bell I hope. Considering the amount of shit I've been through here, I hope I have become more mature and stronger. I hope I'd never lose the optimism I had when I was a kid. I hope lovely Jasmine wont tell me how my posts sound a little pessimistic. I hope I go home with happy emotions and a lot to share.. A LOT.. hahaha..

Love all.