This post might be slightly different, so be prepared. :)
I remember all my past conversations with Irving. We'd always agree I still have a long way to go.. I knew that I needed to be more 'balanced' in my life, to be more 'stable' in handling all issues.
I feel that I am getting closer to this stage, where I am more mature and capable of the challenges in my life.
I am not sure if it was because of the pace in Perth, my experience here or it just comes naturally as you get older.
I stopped panicking over the small issues, like examinations or shifting house. In life, there's always a solution to our problems. It just depends on which approach you choose to take.
I had my first paper yesterday. 25 chapters of Global Marketing, but I only did 5 chapters and went into the exam hall. Tomorrow I have another paper and I have no idea how to calculate CPM. I dont even know what is CPM, but I am not panicking or overly stressed over it. I just came back from supper. Ken was like, YOU HAVE EXAMS TOMORROW AND YOU CAME OUT FOR SUPPER?! Yeah, I mean, I feel everything is so packed, I could hardly breathe. So what's wrong with going out for a meal?
I am always VERY HARD ON MYSELF. When things happen, I get upset. My whole family is like that. My mum constantly blames herself for whatever's happened to her children. Amelia works like there's no tomorrow and she never has enough sleep.
Now, I just want to be realistic. I would like to aim high, but I think we cannot aim high in all aspects. We gain some, we lose some. I like to have a balance of things in my life. I need to be aware of what I want to achieve, utimately, throughout my stay in Perth. Being realistic means I might not have distinctions this semester. I believe in studying every single thing, mutiple textbooks, all lecture materials, etc. In short, I was a hard working student. I spent the whole semester playing catch-up, till a point in time, I just gave up because it was almost impossible to. Post graduate is just heavy, or maybe it's just my marketing modules. So this time round, I took a completely different approach. I can even be packing my baggage, preparing to move into my new house when I should be studying very hard for the papers.
I find that a lot of approaches I used in the past did not work? I guess so? And it's good to have a goal and aim high, but sometimes you just cant achieve that much when you want the best of everything?
Han was telling me how he became more confident as he got older and stuffs. I can picture Bell at the end of my stay in Perth. I have friends, I have people who care. But when you are overseas, you are on your own. Let's face it. Every experience, every emotions, every single thought of mine is unique and it aids in my growing up and learning process. I hope all these will shape Bell into what everyone wants to see. I did not forget my purpose of coming here. And I will not disappoint those back home.
12 days to going home..
