This is my 18th post on this blog.
Today, I spent one full hour reading all my previous posts. I do a lot of reflections in Perth. Going through your old posts, you'll get to see how much you have grown or least, how much you have changed?
Finally, I am able to post something more 'positive', compared to the past.
I was talking to Clarence online today. I use to text him when I have a problem or when something bothers me. I am very very expressive and it's frustrating how I cant speak to anyone here. I mean, I could. But you want a listener who understands you, can relate to what you are saying, trusts and supports you. In short, a good friend.
I know all my closest friends are probably working overtime, every single day. I cant expect people to be there for me. And I am sure I lead a better life than them, in Perth.
I was telling Clarence, it feels good how I wake up feeling happy these days. I became so positive all of a sudden. I have always been a very lively, cheerful, bubbly girl who's kinda crazy. I am not so much like that in Perth? But recently, I can feel my old self coming back. I like to be crazy again! Crazy with limits. Heh.
I always give good news or appear to, but this time round, it's for real? I am much better now, than before. My heart and shoulders feel so 'light'. It's just a good feeling.
There's so many people I want to talk to. First on my list, Yuan. Where the hell has he been to? Probably OT. Lovely Jasmine! Another one working OT. I have not spoken to Xiaoqi for a while as well. We use to webcam when I first arrived.
I am looking forward to going home. I think I'd miss camp rainbow this year because I need to settle my accomodation for next semester? sigh. I look forward to seeing my BIAB team members as well. It seems like I am looking forward to going home to doing volunteering work? I need more meaning in my life. You know I am best when I do social work. I am not interested in money or power, so I guess I dont really get along with people in post grad. It's not like I am not focus on my goals, I am just not interested in climbing that corporate ladder.
I find joy in giving to others.
I'd like to leave a message for you, Jas.
Thank you for your email. It was lovely. You dont need to feel sorry for that. YOU ARE ALWAYS PART OF MY LIFE.. We're best friends, remember? You're still very close to my heart. You are one of the few that I write to, I mean send a physical mail home.
Everyone knows I am a strong girl. I have a lot of faith.
